#and I want to be able to say 'I can't promise you this'll work; but I've made it simple enough maybe you can try it'

[medicinemane]

I just think that the main barrier to being good at a lot of different things isn't about that you couldn't be good at it, it's about time, and it's about affording equipment and materials

It's gonna be a lot harder to find the time for even one hobby if you're working full time, and make no mistake, there's a real problem of getting what you need to actually work on stuff

[flimflamfandom]

A Length of Chain

Mitzi rose up out of bed and stretched, cracking every joint she had in her body. The world seemed frozen outside - the rain pattering against the window, the horrible coolness of the morning. Mitzi quickly got dressed, straightened out her hair, and walked downstairs...

right into the parlor of Wick's mansion.

"...which is why I was wondering..." Lacy wrote something on a notepad. She looked at Mitzi. "Morning, Miz May." Lacy poured some coffee for her, already looking out of sorts.

"Morning Lacy. How was your night?"

"It was wonderful." She said, dreamily. "I spent it all with Arthur."

"Guitar boy?" Mitzi smirked, her ears perking a little. "I was meanin' t'ask, how has he been? I never hear much about him these days."

"He's busy." Lacy said. "I'm busy. I want to spend more time with him, and he wants to spend more with me, but...well. Just isn't in the cards." Lacy drooped a bit.

"Oh, well, that's just too bad, isn't it? Won't Wick give you a day off or two? I've got a maid, she could help him a little."

"Does she know much about geology?"

"She-" Mitzi blinked. "Do you have to know about that sort of thing?"

"I have to be able to interrogate claims and business offers and see which ones are worth Mr. Sable's time, yes."

"Ahh." Mitzi nodded. "...she could read a book. mayhaps?"

"...at this point, a warm body would be nice." Lacy said. "I'm getting near the end of my rope."

"I'll bring it up to him."

"Thanks..." Lacy sighed, and looked at the clock. "If you don't mind I have to represent Wick at a meeting."

"Oh? Didn't know you needed to be...pleni...hmm...that word, working as someone, like an ambassad-"

"Plenipotentiary." Lacy said, quickly. "Good morning."

With that, she left.

-

"...which is why I was wonderinf ig you could give her a day off...or a week. Or a mo-"

"I can't give her a whole month, Mitzi." Wick said, looking out a window in his office. He turned around. "...I'm being so impolite." He said, motioning to a chair. "Please! Have a seat." He said. he smiled warmly.

"Why, thank you, kind sir~" Mitzi teased. "But please, do consider it. She's a sweet girl and all, she deserves some time."

"I can absolutely give her a day...hell, a week sounds doable." Wick started writing something down. "I can manage...yes. I can definitely manage that." He tore the piece of paper he wrote on from his pad and tacked it to his desk, right by his phone. He smiled, and gazed a bit at Mitzi. "I wish I could take a week off with you, though."

"Oh, Wicky, you're too sweet." She cooed, leaning on his desk a little, putting a hand on his. "You could come by the Daisy tonight, hmm? You never seem to wanna come anymore."

"Oh...well, I-" He cleared his throat. "Truth be told, I...feel a little...put off by someone there."

Mitzi sat up. She perked her ears. "I beg your pardon? Someone making you uncomfortable?" She rolled her eyes. "I bet it's Rocky, isn't it?"

"No, no, it-"

"Viktor? He can be a grump but he's harmless."

"It isn't-"

"It couldn't be CALVIN, could it? Sweet little Irishman like that? Why, he'd sooner die than make someone uncomf-"

"It's Zib."

"I-" Mitzi blinked. "...Zib?"

"Dorian, yes. He...I feel like...well...oh, this'll sound emasculating, but-" Wick cleared his throat. "...He sometimes makes me feel like I have to...fight him for you."

Mitzi stifled a laugh. "I..." She tried very hard to hid that laugh. It wasn't working. "Now, I...hmm..." She paused a moment, and feigned a cough.

"...it's pathetic, I know." Wick said.

"No, it...it's not that." She said. "Zib is...well, he and I used to be together, but that ship has sailed, and sunk in a storm." Mitzi explained. "He gets...flirtatious, but I promise you, Wicky, I'm not interested in that kind of man, not anymore." She shivered. "...musicians can be temperamental and hard to work with."

"I suppose."

"...I can talk to him about-"

"NO GOD PLEASE-" He blinked, and stopped himself. "No, I...I'd rather you not."

"If you say so."

-

"...which is why I was wondering if you're makin' him feel that way on purpose?"

Zib laughed, loudly, at the mere suggestion he was making Wick uncomfortable on purpose. "HAH! You're kiddin' me, right?" Zib rolled his eyes and crossed his arms. "...what kinda qwuestion is that?" He scoffed. "OF COURSE I am!"

"And who told you that'd be alright, hmm?" Mitzi looked frustrated and annoyed.

"No one. it's just funny to watch him squirm a bit." Zib said. "Besides, a man's entitled to a bit of fun now and then, right?"

"A bit of fun doesn't mean 'make a man stop coming to his club because you don't like him."

"Yeah, well...if you really, really want me to stop, I'll stop." Zib said.

"I'd appreciate it!" Mitzi grumbled something under her breath.

"...what was that?"

"I said it'd be nice to date a man and not have him put off by you! You know how many times Atlas almost fired you because of your antics?" Mitzi bristled. "We're finished, you and me, and-"

"Alright, alright, take it easy." Zib held up his arms, and shook his head...which, this being an hour with a number in it, caused his inebriated body to nearly take a dive. "Sorry...didn't know you felt that way."

"Hmph." Mitzi sighed, and looked over at the bar. "...Zib, how many coffee mugs are at the bar?"

"I count three."

"Who drank that much coffee?"

"Freckle, I think. Something about Ivy? And a novel? Yes, a novel, that's it."

Mitzi sighed. She nodded. "...is the boy here?"

"Yep. Upstairs."

-

"...which is why I was wondering who told you it'd be a good idea to drink that much coffee?"

"I dunno." Calvin was a shivering wreck on the couch in Mitzi's office. His head was in Ivy's lap, who was gently stroking his side, trying to calm him down. "It was a bad move. I feel miserable. I don't even like coffee..."

Ivy nervously looked up. "Should I take him to a hospital?"

Mitzi ran some numbers in her head. "...no. He's under the limit, but...only just." She shook her head. "Freckle, how'd this happen?"

"Iwas...I-" He huffed, "I was talking to Rocky, and he said something about how my novel was taking forever, and then something about writing it sooner so I could get rich and marry Ivy, and then for some reason he talked me into drinking a lot of coffee."

Mitzi groaned. "I'll talk to him later, but-"

"I'm sorry about all this." Calvin said, clutching his stomach. "I just...this was a bad move."

"No, no, you're alright." Mitzi said. "...ivy, maybe do take him to a doctor, see to it he doesn't have anything happen to him."

Ivy immediately got nervous. "What!? Something COULD happen to him!?"

"Ivy, please...it's 3 cups of...particularly strong coffee, not gasoline." She shook her head. "I need to go find Rocky and beat him with a stick."

-

"...Which is why I was wondering if you could help me find a stick to beat you with." Mitzi crossed her arms. Rocky looked horrified.

"Oh, geez...I'll have to apologize to him, I didn't think he'd go through with that!" Rocky shook his head. "He seems more...reasonable."

"Rocky. He gets nervous when his whisker twitches, he's NOT reasonable!" She sighed and sat in a booth. "When he gets back you're going to have a lot of explaining to do..."

"I suppose...I'm sorry, Mitzi, I coulda sworn I told him NOT to drink a ton of coffee and write a whole book in an afternoon!" he blinked. "...oh, wait. I told him explicitly TO do that. Whoops. Silly me, pobody's nerfect." He shrugged, and smiled goofily. Mitzi still looked like she was fuming.

"...I'll stop with the smile."

"Please stop with the smile."

"Is there anything I can do to make it up to you? I'll do all his jobs for the next week! The next TWO weeks! I'll work the cash register during the day if you're worried about how Ivy's feeling - she's...she's handling this well right?"

"She was on the verge of tears after she called the doctor and they recommended the hospital."

"Oh, god!" Rocky openly wept. "I'm a monster, Mitzi, A MONSTER!"

In his horrible sobbing, he dropped his violin case to the ground, which, of course, caused him to weep even MORE openly. Mitzi, sighing, picked up the violin case. "You're paying whatever bill that boy has, and you're making it up to him. I don't care how."

"If you say so..."

Mitzi looked at the violin. She had an errand to run on that side of town, anyway. "...in the mean time, I'm confiscating this. And making sure it wasn't damaged."

"I deserve this." Rocky said.

"Indeed."

-

"...which is why I was wondering if you could give it a once over, Mr. Keane?" Mitzi had taken the violin to the only luthier in town - John Boggs. Boggs was a busy man, and had hired on an assistant - Arthur Keane - Lacy's boyfriend.

"I can give it a look." The cinnamon furred cat pushed up his glasses and took the violin out. He peered at it. "...was it in the case as it fell?"

"Yes."

"Hmm. Lucky." He slightly adjusted the bridge, and retuned it, playing a few notes. "It should be in order...I'd hardly charge for a bridge adjust-"

The door swung open. In walked a familiar, white furred blonde with a soft smile on her face. She waved a little to Mitzi.

"Hello, Mitzi..."

"Well, if it isn't Lacy Hardt! I just saw you this morning but it feels like it's been ages...how was that meeting?"

"Went well...Mr. Sable gave me some time off." Mitzi sighed with relief - even through all of today's foibles, she at least got to see it come full circle - like a length of chain, linked to itself.

"Which," Lacy put her hand on Arthur's, "is why I was wondering..."

[spiderh0rse]

stark's mind notes part 7, e31-33, -1, and stark's mind 2 chapter 1. those last two aren't crucial to the plot and sm2e1 is noncanon, I believe, but they're fascinating regardless. the series is functionally in a hiatus at the moment, so this is all there is.

e31

sounds far more calm now. off to the lambda labs!

his tram has locked into the fastest setting! He has to jump off of it! Inertia! Fuck!

honestly I do think he ends up the most hurt from his own accidents than being attacked

tries to gripe for a second and gets shot at

admits that though he's not the paragon of virtue, morality, so on, the military is Still Worse. Score one point for self esteem??

confused about how the tram broke open a blast door, then shakes it off claiming he's wasting time

he says he can't shoot at shoddy and decrepit infrastructure and that makes it more dangerous than the things actively trying to kill him. OSHA inspector Stark when

having a rough time staying afloat

underwater mumbling

glad he didn't fall into the water from too high up. Surface tension and all that

a physics puzzle! Yippee!

confused about how a marine can die to a headcrab zombie

continues to be mad at poor construction and poorly maintained infrastructure

gets water in his mouth on accident

very thankful that none of the aliens are aquatic...

sprinklers! But yeah that and the water in the silo probably washed the blood off!

spots. The ICTHYOSAUR

thinks grenades will have killed the icthyosaur. Confusing that they don't tbh considering what being underwater near an explosion does to you

e32

deep breath. sigh.

so confused about the room layout of the icthyosaur encounter

claims he's been conditioned to kill every dangerous alien in his path. Relieved he doesn't have to kill this one

almost slips into the water! This shakes him badly

collapsed hallway > the fucking pool

"if there is a god, this door will lead to the lambda labs! I hear beeping and booping!"

a week. Stark doesn't comment on the timeline here.

stark does NOT want to talk to this pushy guy who's trying to get him to kill the icthyosaur

so so so beleaguered by this asshole scientist. Very quiet to him.

ignores the shark cage in favour of shooting into the water. Admits it isn't working

finds this while detour stupid

visibly struggling for air while turning the valve

seems to be shaking a bit for a while there! The water drains out of his suit when he stands up

wants seafood now! Get him some shrimp

likes the scope on the crossbow

likes that being able to see things at a distance with the scope affords him some safety

when you can teleport, everything's an ambush!

enjoys peeking around with the scope

climbs a grate! Poorly!

Colleague.

it's 2:34! PM? AM? Hell if i know

e33

spaced out for a minute there! My word he's exhausted

you know I think he'd have pieced together this puzzle easily a day or two ago. Hasn't eaten has barely slept...

yeah! Right there! Admits he missed something earlier! He's slowing down!

wonders if he'll be able to catch up to the man he saw

ignores the puzzle and stacks boxes

bangs his head on some metal

"the electricity won't kill me, it just hurts" man this'll give you brain damage, pal

agrees heartily to being called Gordon Freeman

cooooooold

shivering terribly. Has never been this cold in his life

goes and huddles by some warm pipes until everything clears up

still pissy about the icthyosaur

Stark's compliment of choice for the aliens is "sneaky"

alas that guard there is probably not Arlen

20 FOOT VERTICAL JUMP

handles the black ops pretty well!

considers the skintight bodysuits very impractical for combat

it's morning. It was 2:34 not too long ago. Wanna bet that little space out was him being asleep on his feet for a bit?

pretty sure he's doing very well right now. Nothing has stopped him so far. Nothing will! He's in complete control of his situation!

came back to the facility because of a promise

surface access is not his ideal direction right now

makes a dark joke, considers it may be too far, then figures he's allowed

hears the ambush, kind of gasps, shoots around, gets hit over the head, and hits the ground with a whimper

the voices of the HECU dragging him are much harder to make out than in Half Life. Stark is silent.

e-1

new titlecard! Neater hair. shorter.

on a coffee break! Likes the taste.

was manually delivering paperwork to Management

on his way, was mistaken for Freeman five times

and now a sixth. Politely corrects the man.

works with Freeman! Seems to think he doesn't like Stark

waits around watching the monitors for a tram schedule for a while

Kleiner has lectured him on tardiness before

makes a little ditty about walking around

so happy some random guy didn't call him Freeman!

responds to What's Up with The Ceiling

has been working at the company since he was 19, before Freeman was hired on

pretty sure the Freeman thing rn is a prank

picks Felix and Ramirez as a good example of someone who'd prank him

wonders how Ramirez would convince people to join in on the prank

he and Ramirez have had some manner of prank war going on for a while now

Stark managed to convince maintenance to swap the orange soda in the vending machines for lemon lime, which many were unhappy about

the racquetball incident saved Stark from being fired over the Soda Swap

hasn't heard from Ramirez in weeks due to some... Research project he's on...

Ramirez doesnt have to witness his prank to be happy about it

sees an exploded printer and compliments maintenance nearby for their work

knows a janitor! Marty! Considers helping him clean up a puddle if he weren't so late.

leaps a spilled puddle. Proud of his jump. Most physical activity he's done in a while

hazard course training next week!

considers shaving his goatee

sm2e1

fancy slow title screen. No card.

however ending up in the train worked, it is unpleasant.

oh yeah man's just whispering the whole time

does get a bit louder to protect someone

tells some combine (Barney) "You don't know who you're dealing with."

prepares to attack the combine

doesnt object at all to Barney calling him Freeman

only slightly objects to Kleiner

just. Deeply confused.

knows who Alyx is

exasperated at the combine, at Barney urging him along and offering no explanations

claims it's good to be back.

claims this is Black Mesa all over again, in the map department

throws away the can

figures out they're being watched pretty quickly

knows what Xen is called!

finds the Citadel imposing

talks about the man in the suit

a bit shocked at the sight of a strider but pushes past it

thinks Gman may have brought him back to Earth to mock him

realizes he hasn't seen any kids.

insults someone who doesn't fight his impending doom

a lot better at keeping calm under pressure than we're used to seeing him

[grailfinders]

Fate and Phantasms #250

Today on Fate and Phantasms we're making the scourge of gods and men, Demon King Nobunaga! Buy one Nobu, get two free, what a great deal!

One Nobu is a Battle Master Fighter to master unconventional tactics, another is a Swords Bard to light up the battlefield both with gunfire and literal fire, and the last is an Ascendant Dragon Monk to rock that tight leather look while still spitting flames.

Check out their build breakdown here, or their character sheet over here!

Next up: You know what they say: a head a day keeps literally everyone away. Except for Nobu.

Race and Background

So, starting off with the awkward stuff again. Yes, each individual Nobu is a human, but we're a weird amalgamation of a bunch of them, so if you want to be able to go from 5'5" to 5'11" and back again we've got to go with Changeling. (Wait, Big Nobu is only 5'11"?? The doesn't sound right. at all. There's like a foot difference between the two!) Like with Asclepius, we're trying out the new Mordenkainen version, though there aren't that many differences between this one and the old one.

Like all lineages, Changelings can now get their stat boosts in any stat they choose, so +1 Dexterity and +2 Wisdom are valid choices, with or without Tasha helping. You're also Fey instead of humanoid, so some spells like Hold Person just don't work on you. Your Changeling Instincts have also been expanded somewhat, so you can get proficiency in Insight and Performance for some "sick" atsumori. You're still a Shapechanger though, with the added bonus that you can change between Medium and Small sizes at will, though it doesn't change your clothing.

Although it is a gross simplification of Japanese history to call Oda Nobunaga a general, we're doing that here because it means we can use the Soldier background, which is useful. It gives you proficiency in Intimidation and Investigation. People aren't usually called a "Demon King" if no one is afraid of them.

Ability Scores

On that note, put your highest score into Charisma. You certainly have a gravitas that can't be matched. After that is your Wisdom. People call you the fool of Owari, but that's simply because you operate on a level they can't even notice. Third is your Dexterity. Shortswords, flintlock rifles, and crossbows all need that. Your Constitution is slightly above average. I wish we could have gotten it higher, but multiclassing comes first. This also means your Strength is pretty low, but we're dumping Intelligence. Like a lot of anime characters, Maou Nobu should be good at everything. But we need intelligence the least, and we'll get options to fix what little we do need it for later.

Class Levels

Monk 1: Ok give me a second here I promise this'll make sense. Starting off as a monk gives you proficiency with shortswords, so your first ascension can fight well enough. You also get proficiency with Strength and Dexterity saves, as well as History and Athletics. We can't focus on strength that much, but you can kick people's heads in, so this might help. You also get Unarmored Defense, adding your wisdom modifier to your AC while you're not wearing any armor. The first and second Nobus definitely aren't wearing armor. You could argue either way for the third ascension, though personally I'd say it's not up to code for D&D. Way too many gaps in the leg parts, y'know? Anyway, enough nitpicking about clothes, back to the good stuff. Your Martial Arts training lets you use your bonus action to make an unarmed attack if you attack with a monk weapon on your main action, use your dexterity in place of strength for all attacks, and your monk weapons, including your hands, always deal a minimum of 1d4 damage. Not super useful for crossbow wielders, but I think Big Nobu will get a... "kick" out of it. 🥁

Monk 2: Second level monks can use their Ki to dash, dodge, disengage, or attack twice as a bonus action. You also get Unarmored Movement, so your speed gets better if you're not in platemail. Finally, you can choose a Dedicated Weapon over a short rest, so your longsword or crossbow can count as a monk weapon now! Once you're proficient in them. One sec!

Fighter 1: Okay, now you're proficient in all weapons. You also get a Fighting Style, and Archery will make your crossbow shots a little more accurate. You also get a Second Wind to heal yourself as a bonus action. You don't really "chill out", but I'm sure you'll figure out how to make it work.

Fighter 2: Second level fighters can use an Action Surge once per short rest to take two actions in a turn. If you want a gatling flintlock, this is a must. We still can't attack twice with a crossbow though, another thing for the todo list.

Fighter 3: At third level you become a Battle Master, meaning you're smarter than the average fighter. As a Student of War you gain proficiency in one set of artisan's tools, and you learn some Combat Superiority tricks. Four times per short rest you can use superiority dice to add extra effects to your attacks or skill checks, and usually a d8 of damage too. Your Commanding Presence lets you add the die roll to an Intimidation, Performance, or Persuasion check. Yes you read that right, a single skill improves your terrifying reputation on the battlefield and your Atsumori skills at the same time. You can also make a Distracting Strike to give another creature advantage to hit your target, or a Goading Attack to give your target disadvantage to hit anyone but you. Both of these also add the d8 to your attack damage. Run them ragged chasing you around, then give your army an opening to destroy them.

Fighter 4: As a fourth level fighter you finally get your first Ability Score Improvement. As a Crossbow Expert you can ignore the loading property on crossbows, and attack with them in melee range without issue. You can also dual-wield with a hand crossbow now, effectively giving you that fancy monk bonus attack with range. Nice.

Fighter 5: Fifth level fighters get an Extra Attack each action, so it's a good thing we picked up that feat last level.

Fighter 6: We're already back for another ASI though- use this one to bump up your Dexterity for stronger and more accurate attacks, a higher AC, and tougher saves for your maneuvers. Turns out you like dexterity more than normal monks. Oh right, speaking of:

Monk 3: Bouncing back to monk finally nets you your subclass. As an Ascendant Dragon, you start off as a Draconic Disciple, which in true monk subclass fashion is secretly a ton of features in a trenchcoat. Your Draconic Presence lets you re-roll a failed intimidation or persuasion check. You can use this as often as you like until it actually works, then you have to wait until tomorrow. Meanwhile, your Draconic Strikes give you your first taste of fire damage, since you can swap your unarmed attacks to acid, cold, fire, lightning, or poison instead of bludgeoning. You also learn Draconic. It's a language. But wait, there's more! With the Breath of the Dragon, you can swap out any attack you make in your action with a breath weapon, dealing elemental damage in a cone or line, forcing a dexterity save on creatures in the area. You deal 2 martial arts dice in damage, and can use this attack once per action, up to Proficiency times per long rest. Alternatively, you can spend 2 ki points per use. And we're not done yet! All monks can Deflect Missiles, using your reaction to weaken incoming ranged attacks, possibly launching them back if you reduce the damage to 0.

Monk 4: That was a lot last level! And this one's pretty packed too. You can your usual ASI, so your Dexterity is as good as it's going to get here. You can also Slow Fall as a reaction, so you take less fall damage. And if that second wind isn't enough, you can spend ki points on Quickened Healing, healing yourself as an action.

Fighter 7: Seventh level battle masters can Know Your Enemy, spending a minute to learn how you compare to your foe in two of the following categories: Strength, Dexterity, Constitution, AC, current HP, class levels, or fighter levels. Know yourself and your enemy, and you need not fear a thousand battles. Some guy said that, idk. You also get two more Maneuvers, and one more superiority die. Your Tactical Assessment lets you add the die to an Investigation, History, or Insight check, while a Menacing Attack deals extra damage and forces a wisdom save on the target, frightening them if they fail. Again, they don't call you a demon king because you befriended your enemies.

Bard 1: It's a little late for another multiclass, but here we are. You can use a Bardic Inspiration to give an ally a d6 to improve a check, save, or attack roll they make in the near future, or you can cast Spells using your Charisma. You get a number of inspiration dice per day equal to your Charisma modifier. Your cantrips are pretty typical. Vicious Mockery denigrates your foes so hard they actually get hurt by it, and Friends improves your odds with all charisma checks. Given how quite a few people have reacted to your valentines events, I don't think you had many issues with Persuasion or Intimidation. For first level spells, Bane befuddles your enemies further, while Command exerts your intimidating presence over them. Heroism will empower your army with temporary HP and protection from being frightened, and Faerie Fire will add the [burning] status to the battlefield, giving creatures advantage on their attacks against creatures who were in the area when you cast the spell. You also get proficiency in Perception. It's hard to shoot someone when you can't find them.

Bard 2: Second level bards are a Jack of All Trades, adding half their proficiency bonus to ability checks they aren't proficient in. That means all your intelligence skills go from a -1 to a +1! See? Told ya we'd fix that. You can also perform a Song of Rest, and while an extra d6 of healing at 13th level might not seem like a lot... it isn't. But hey, any excuse to break out the atsumori's a good one. (Also your inspiration is Magical Inspiration now, so your allies can add it to magical damage or healing.) And I know we went changeling specifically to avoid using magic to change ascensions, but... Sometimes you don't have time to change outfits, so Disguise Self will help with quick changes.

Bard 3: At third level you get Expertise in two skills, doubling your proficiency bonus in Intimidation and Insight. You also graduate from the college of Swords, giving you a second Fighting Style. Dueling will help out whenever you've got a shortsword out, adding 2 to its damage rolls. For even more damage, you can add a Blade Flourish to your attacks by spending an inspiration die. A Defensive Flourish adds the roll to your damage and AC, a Slashing Flourish deals the extra damage to another creature within 5' of you, and a Mobile Flourish pushes the creature around and lets you spend a reaction to follow it. You can use these once per attack action, and each attack action also increases your speed by 10'. For your first second level spell, grab Pyrotechnics to use the burning battlefield to your advantage, blinding everyone in an area around the flames that fails a constitution save. I hear it's also pretty good at putting out fires too...

Monk 5: Okay, we've been putting it off for a while since your Extra Attack from this level doesn't stack, but it's about time we go back to monk, if only for the martial arts die increase. You can also turn any melee attack into a Stunning Strike, stunning the target until the end of your next turn if they fail a constitution save. You can also now spend ki points on Fou-cused Aim, spending 1-3 points for a +2 bonus to your attack roll per point spent. Kinda pricey, but sometimes you can't afford to miss.

Monk 6: Sixth level monks have Ki-Empowered Strikes, so your kicks are now magical against resistances. In case you weren't just using fire for everything already. I know we're kind of being down on the monk right now, but there is a benefit to coming back here. You also get Wings Unfurled this level, so when you dash as a bonus action you can gain a flying speed equal to your walking speed proficiency times per day. Speaking of your walking speed, right now that's 45' a turn, or 55' with an attack action, at most 65' if you action surge for two in a turn. That is a lot of mobility. tl;dr it's a cool anime jump for when you need to get 130' in the air right now.

Monk 7: The good times keep rolling for monk, because at seventh level you get Evasion, boosting your dexterity saves to new extremes. If you fail a save it's like you passed it, and if you pass it it's like there was never any danger to begin with. You also gain a Stillness of Mind that lets you end effects charming or frightening you as an action. Your dreamlike existence has some downsides, but getting to ignore a lot of magic isn't one of them.

Bard 4: Bouncing back to bard gives you another ASI, bumping up your Charisma for stronger spells and more inspiration dice per long rest. Speaking of spells, Prestidigitation will give you any minor magical effects you want. If you want your sword to have cool particle effects while you're fighting, this can probably help. Also, pick up Aid for a bit more bulk, since monks and bards aren't known for their stellar hit dice.

Bard 5: Fifth level bards are Fonts of Inspiration, so you regain inspiration dice on short rests instead of long ones. Those dice also grow to d8s now. For your final spell, pick up Bestow Curse to do any number of terrible things to your enemies if they fail a Wisdom save. You can do just about anything your DM signs off on, but one of the out-the-box options is dealing an extra d8 of damage each attack. The type they give you is necrotic, but changing that to fire doesn't seem like too far a stretch.

Monk 8: We head back to monk for our final level, another ASI. The Resilient feat is simple, but effective. It rounds out our Charisma for another boost in strength and inspiration while also giving you proficiency in Charisma saves. The Counter Force is constantly trying to banish you after all, it's best to be resistant to that sort of thing.

Pros and Cons

Pros:

As expected from three people sharing one build, Maou Nobunaga is very versatile in combat, with spells like Prestidigitation, Command, and Bestow Curse basically only being limited by your imagination, plus the effects added to your attacks by Flourishes and Maneuvers, and being able to change up the elements of your attacks as an Ascendant Dragon. You come packing a metric ton of abilities, letting you change up your fighting style for every battle and leave your DM guessing.

You're also really good against magic, with proficiency in two of the big three saves, immunity to several troublesome spells thanks to not being humanoid, and the ability to shake off charms and frightening effects thanks to Stillness of Mind. Hitting you in a way that hurts is hard.

That variety also bleeds into what you can do out of combat as well, with a high Charisma and Wisdom scores plus plenty of ways to strengthen a ton of your intelligence skills, you can fit just about any part of the party's social dynamic. Be a loveable goofball, be a terrifying tactician, switch wildly between the two at a moments notice! Heck, become someone else entirely! You're a changeling after all.

Cons:

While the variety is great, this build also shows exactly why multiclassing can be difficult. Since you hop into bard so late a lot of the features won't be that useful at high level play, and it also makes your ASIs show up super irregularly. On top of that, it makes you super multi-ability dependent, using your dexterity, wisdom, and charisma in tandem.

Multiclassing also makes you super complicated with three different resources you have to manage on top of all your "X times per short rest" abilities. You also don't have that many of any one resource, so if you don't hold anything back you'll tire out quickly.

Being so many things also means this build lacks focus. If you dropped bard you'd deal a lot more damage by spending those charisma ASIs on Sharpshooter instead and getting a third attack. If you dropped monk you'd have more inspiration, stronger spells, and could wear some armor for better defense. If you dropped fighter your Martial Arts die would be bigger and you'd have a ton of more creative options with spells and ki abilities.

But hey, being Nobunaga is cool, and you're every Nobunaga at once, so get out there and show the world why that's a terrifying concept. Be whoever you want, do whatever you want, and make the world know your name however you want.

[gristol-liker]

Safe in Your Love

When the jet lands in the quarry, you and the rest of the team head into the Motherlobe. But whereas the others are going to their respective offices to write up their reports on the mission, you have another stop to make first. You did promise.

You make sure no one is watching and then slip into the mailroom. You don't really want to go to the mailroom right now or even back to your office to work on your own report. What you really want to do is go to bed. The mission has left you exhausted, physically, mentally, and psychically. You can’t move much faster than walking and you couldn’t psychically lift a rat if you had to. Overall, you’re just drained. It wouldn't be so bad if you had slept on the return trip, but for some reason, you couldn't.

You go farther into the mailroom, coming to stand beside the secure mailroom and look out over the open space where all the packages are sent.

In this space is Gristol. He's holding a package and looking closely at the label. He doesn't notice you're there.

"Hey, Gristol," you call to him as you go down the final set of stairs. "I'm back."

"It's about time," he responds without even a glance in your direction. "You were gone for two days."

"Miss me?" When he doesn't answer, you try another question. "Are you doing something important?"

"Everything I do is important." Before you can suggest coming back at another time - preferably after you’ve slept - Gristol gestures to the couch. "I'll be with you in a moment."

You look at the couch to your right. It's very tempting to sit down, but you're afraid that if you do you won't be able to stand up again. Most of your remaining strength is going into keeping yourself upright and awake. Sitting down would be the end of that.

You turn your gaze back to Gristol. He finally lowers the package and walks over to the chutes, tossing it into one. He must've been having trouble reading the label. Then he starts over to where you stand, walking with his hands behind him. "You're not sitting."

You shake your head. "I can't stay long."

"Is there something more important than me?"

You sigh. You know he's trying to guilt you into doing what he wants. The sensible thing to do would be to just leave. However, that couch is looking more and more inviting by the second. It couldn't hurt to sit. Just a minute. Then you'll go work on your report. You sink down onto the well-worn cushions and Gristol sits beside you.

"How was the mission?" He asks. It's hard for you to tell if he's actually interested or not.

"Not bad. I've been on worse-"

You're cut off when Gristol reaches up and brushes his fingers over your cheek. "You're hurt," he says tenderly.

"Oh, that. It's just a bruise. It's more embarrassing than painful. Someone got the drop on me..." It seems that Gristol isn't listening to what you're saying.

He's focused on the bruise; his hand caressing your cheek. It's nice. His fingers are warm against your skin and you subconsciously lean into his hand. Your eyes struggle to stay open.

"Are you hurt anywhere else?"

Forcing yourself to stay awake, you pull back from Gristol's touch. "It’s nothing, Gristol. Really."

"Show me. Show me where you were injured."

"You’re not senior staff anymore, and even if you were, that wouldn’t give you the right to order me around."

"Please?" There's a note of concern in his voice.

He's not going to stop pestering you about it until you do as he's asked. You pull up the left side of your shirt, showing him the white dressing underneath, wrapped completely around your ribcage. "Like I said; it's nothing. Psychics heal a lot faster than non-psychics. This'll be all healed by the end of the week."

Gristol again shows no sign of hearing what you've said. He reaches for the bandage and places his hand against it. His fingers run over the edge of the dressing and brush against your skin. A bit embarrassed, you grab his wrist and pull his hand from your body, dropping your shirt back in place.

Gristol takes your hand in both of his. "Did you get them? The people who did this to you?" The change in his expression is instantaneous; from kind and caring to cruel and hateful. If you don’t say something to reassure him soon, well, you know how he is when he gets like this.

"Yeah,” you answer truthfully, “Yeah, we got 'em."

"Good," he says darkly.

"We've dealt with people like them before," you suppress a yawn, "and we'll deal with people like them again. It's all part of being-"

"No," he says. "I don't want you getting hurt any more."

It warms your heart to hear him show concern about you, but he doesn't have any real say in the matter. "I'll be more careful next time." You rest your head on his shoulder. If you could just stay like this for a few more minutes...

“D-do you want to talk about it?” He sounds a bit flustered, as he always does when you two are this close.

“Talk? No...” You don’t want to talk about the mission, about the injuries you’d gotten, or about anything. You just want to stay here, silently. Unfortunately, you can’t. That report won’t write itself. If only it could write itself. You pull your legs up onto the couch, curling up against Gristol. He puts his arms around you. Please, let it write itself. You don’t want to leave Gristol’s warm embrace, to pull away from his hold, from his fingers playing with your hair. It feels good. Safe. “I don’t want to talk,” you mutter against his neck, “I just want to stay here. With you.”

You’re losing the battle to stay awake. Heck, you’re barely putting up a fight now. The stupid report can wait. It’s not urgent. You’ll do it later. You shift, turning your back to the open space of the mailroom. The world outside of this room doesn’t matter. You put your arms around him, rest your head on his stomach, and bury your face against his chest. He's so warm. So soft.

The pain from your injuries is lessening. Your body relaxes. All the tension you’d been feeling, any anxiety is gone. All of the world melts away. There is nothing beyond the mailroom, beyond this couch. It’s just you and Gristol. Continuing to play with your hair, Gristol hums softly. All of your worries are gone. A great sense of calm has fallen over you. You finally give in and drift off to sleep.

When you wake, you find that you’re pressed face-first into your pillow. No, it’s not your pillow. Your pillow doesn’t have buttons on it. You sit up and rub the sleep out of your eyes. You’d fallen asleep on Gristol, but for how long? Standing up, you glance around the spacious room for some indication of how much time has passed. There’s a pile of boxes that have dropped from the overhead chutes, waiting to be sent on their way.

You look back at Gristol. He’s slouching on the couch, arms by his sides, his head tilted back, and his eyes closed. He must’ve fallen asleep shortly after you did. It would be wrong to wake him, but you also don’t want him to get into trouble for not working. You focus on the boxes and make quick work of them, using telekinesis to toss the packages into the appropriate chutes. With that taken care of, you can finally get to work on that report. Or...

You return to the couch, lying down on Gristol and snuggling up to him again. With your face once more buried in Gristol’s chest, you begin to doze off. As you’re slipping into unconsciousness, Gristol’s hand rests on your head, and he hums quietly. You smile to yourself.